Let's Have a War on X-mas!

I love Christmas (or as I shall henceforth call it, "X-mas"). The peppermint flavors, the snow, the presents, the lights, and the warm fuzzy feelings. It is a brief flicker of fantasy in an otherwise varied but normal year.
 
But I can't get behind two months of X-mas. Not when I haven't had my Thanksgiving yet (or as I shall henceforth call it, Thxgiving). Everything needs its proper time and place, and when a holiday starts encroaching upon another holiday, we need to take a stand.
 
Look, it's not X-mas's fault. It's American values. Or, at least, what companies are telling us our values are. "You don't need gratitude. You don't need reflection. You need PRESENTS PRESENTS PRESENTS!!!" The only reason stores even acknowledged Halloween (even though X-mas bypassed that gate in some places) was so they could stuff us full of candy (not complaining).
 
I recently heard a commercial acknowledging the early onset of X-mas in storefronts, seemingly chiding the greed of businesses, but it turned the tables with "And then I realized X-mas is just around the corner! I need to get shopping!!" as if by owning up to its own obnoxiousness, they could convince us (and at the same time, stress us out).
 
No. X-mas is not around the corner. It is nearly a month and a half away.
 
The only shopping you should do ahead of time is if you are special ordering a song to be written for someone. In which case, get right on that and email me. BUT OTHERWISE…No X-mas until after Thxgiving. Tell stores how you feel! I personally do not want to be sick of X-mas before we hit December. So let's enjoy what's left of autumn (my favorite season). The year is not over yet, and for that I am grateful.

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